Somebodys year .

Location: Scotland

Subject: Thanks for a great year

My thanks to all those of you who have sent me emails this past year

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the
glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to scrub the top of every
can I open for the same reason

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I
no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
£15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program ... Or from the senior
bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split £7 million with him for
pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.<

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward an e -mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can
remove toilet stains, I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man
along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat
when I'm filling up, I no longer go to shopping malls because someone
will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me, I no longer answer the
phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get
a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan,
and thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found
dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.<o></o>

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00pm
this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, <
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

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Somebodys year .