Dear Mother

Dear Mother

Dear Mother, I miss you so
it's been 24 years today that you went away.
I want you to know your memory is alive, you have helped me still in so many ways. I will never forget your smile, your good cooking, the love you gave to me. The worry I caused you I'm sorry, I am still the wild girl but much older now. I am celebrating life as I remember you.

Your grandson that you wanted to see grow up, he did and is fine, he didn't play basketball but plays the guitar. You would be so proud of him, I know I am. Thank you for watching over him too. Yes he is tall, strong and handsome like you predicted and makes the girls happy. He walked the day we buried you for all to see, he was 11 months old and now he is almost 25. He loves the photo of you holding him on your lap smiling for the camera, your grandson. He was yours you wanted to spoil him and play with him as long as you could. I have been a good mother, you would be very proud of me, who would have thought that back in 1980? You taught me well, I thank you for that but most of all I thank you for giving me life.

There is so much I didn't ask you about your life, about life itself, I was so wrapped up in my own busy confused life. I wanted to take you to lunch and spend some time being friends, there was so much to do together but we didn't get the chance. I do remember those tap dancing classes we took together, also the concerts you took me to, my first concert "The Grass Roots". You sat next to me not understanding the music but smiled and laughed as I jumped up to scream as a teen. I may start to play golf can you believe that? Don't laugh it's true, I hope I can be as good as you. Remember when I threw the golf club so mad and hot, the knats were in my eyes and sweat pouring down my face. I had one of my fits and you just kept walking, I had to run double time to catch up to pick up my club and play another hole with you. I thought you would give in and say we could quit, you didn't. Where did you get your patience? I have great patience now as well. I know you are with me, I feel you guide me, give me a push or a hint of where a recipe is. I know you are there watching over your family, we miss you Mom and hope you are happy and free. I try to live my life each day the best that I can.

I married again to a really nice guy, you really would like him. You have another grandson that you've never held. If you could see him, he has your smile and your eyes...he looks so much like me when I was young. He asks about you and knows when we visit the cemetary to bring you flowers that you were my mother like I am his, he seems to relate to what it must be like to visit a mother at her grave. I've seen tears in his eyes as he touches my shoulder...he says nothing but I know he wishes he could have met you. He knows how much a mother means to a child, he will hug me so tight and say he loves me. I am your child. He loves you Mom, though he has never met you. He smiles when he sees a photo of you. Some times I cry when I see your young face, so many hopes and dreams for your future, many came true. I must live on but there is an empty place in my heart because you are not here.

Dad I know misses you still, you were the love of his life there is no one that could ever take that place in his heart for you. He tears up when I visit him when we talk about you and old times, I ask him questions that I didn't get a chance to ask you. It's hard for him, I can hear his heart break, you are his sweetheart and always will be. Can you believe he will be 81 tomorrow? He is doing well. I was such a lucky little girl to have the both of you as parents. Thank you.

Your son is doing fine, he loves and misses you too, your two granddaughters are so beautiful and kind. One looks just like you as well. She is studying to be a vet and is on the deans list. The first born just got married last summer to a really nice guy, you would like him too. I am sure they will have children soon. All are well and remember you still.

You were so beautiful, talented and smart, born before your time, you would have thrived in these times. You did the best you could and were truly amazing. You were a great example to look up to. I fall short on the cleaning part but you knew that before. I still fold towels like I'm in a towel folding contest...as fast as I can. I won't spend my life cleaning and doing housework, I'm going to be playing tennis and perhaps golf and dancing in the pub. We are headed for different shores where you came to me in a dream. You said "what have you been waiting for, what took you so long" as you ran down the green hill with your arms opened wide, your dress flowing your hair blowing you ran up to me smiling...you were so free, you took me by the shoulder and turned me toward the sea...the sunset and sunrise all in one along with the moon over the Atlantic Ocean. You said as you held me close "isn't it beautiful, you are finally home"

I love you Mother, never forget...you will never be forgotten but greatly missed.

Love, your daughter.