Secrets (In My Rabbit Hole)

Location: Boston

Secrets (In My Rabbit Hole)

We all keep them
Whispers we’d rather forget
Transgressions past
Secrets forged and set

Silence has always been my plan
Keep those secrets hidden
Smile on the outside
But, me, falling apart inside unbidden

As the years go by
I find it harder and harder to speak
The words stick in my throat
So afraid to admit I’m a freak

On occasion a situation arises
And those secrets come tumbling out
But shared with the wrong people
Fills my heart with even more doubt

So deeper and deeper I bury those secrets
Until they’re down in my Rabbit Hole
Safe in the darkness and calm
Needing not to share my words or my soul

Because men don’t understand
No matter how much you wish they might
They don’t want roses and truth
Only their illusions or else they take flight

This time around, though
Thought it would be different
It was meant only to be truth
Not to make our relationship bend!

Your silence felt like a 2x4 in my gut
A panic, a fear, so familiar, so scary
I immediately went to my Rabbit Hole
To lick my wounds with head held weary

What to do next?
First thought to disappear forever.
Stay down far and low in my Rabbit Hole
Break this tie that needs to be severed

Fact is, though, it’s not about foolish boys
Fault not their cowardice and fear
It’s about me and my words
And all the secrets I shouldn’t share

So here I am
Still standing and tall
Smile plastered on my face
Like a fake China Doll

But inside
My heart feels like a ton
Only there’s nothing I can do
So I keep going on

Learned my lesson
Better late than never
Boys change their wants
Like New England weather

So keep secrets to myself
You’d think I’d know by now!
Store them safe in my Rabbit Hole
That much I vow.

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Secrets (In My Rabbit Hole)