Choices

Location: Boston

I was wrong about you more than a few times.
During the day, we were, we are, golden.
The sound of your voice, your words, your tone
Laughter, making me listen, to you only, beholden.

At night, though, as the darkness falls.
There is quiet where once we talked late.
Before, there was no rhyme, no reason, no expectation
Just the phone buzzing like an occasional whisper of fate

Now, at night, I lie awake and will you to call
A million things on my mind I can't wait to tell you
Stories and scenes and jokes and weird facts
But I can't call, I won't, no matter how much I want to

Your voice tells me to move on
Meet other boys, live my life, be well
So I tried, I do try, every given Saturday night
Hair and make-up done, smile lit, trying not to dwell

Our friendship means more to me
More than I could ever possibly explain
So much so that not too long ago
I made a choice to keep things the same

As things are is how they shall be
Now that I've made this choice
To move on and keep going
No matter what speaks from my heart's voice

I worry there's no one out there for me
No one who will make me laugh as you do
No one who understands, who listens
Who has a heart of hearts like you

Here you are but nowhere do we go
Maybe I'm the fool for listening to your voice
I could ignore you, go only with my heart
But I can't, I won't, for my mind has made its choice.

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Choices